Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
