I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
