Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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