haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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