Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
