So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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