i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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