Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
