just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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