This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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