hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
