I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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