we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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