so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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