If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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