Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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