Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
