Got a toothbrush?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
