I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
