last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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