you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This is the high leading the old right now
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
