I wanna bring you to show and tell
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
