How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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