I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Pooping to opera.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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