i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize