I could have mohawked her pubes.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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