i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
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wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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