the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
