the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
wow bdsm is so cute
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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