She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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