Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
