I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
