just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
