I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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