Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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