Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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