please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
