First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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