Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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