Sponge bath it is.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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