I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize