He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
