If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
