According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
a search helicopter?!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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