I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
