whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
