You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
