i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
