I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.