You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
