You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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