I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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