Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
