Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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