I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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