oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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