I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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