well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
