My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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