"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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