He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize