i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize